How many times have you talked to your tween or teen, and they zone out or shut down as soon as you start talking? This is part of a rite of passage that seems to sneak in around the time they are searching for a hint of independence.

 

The key to talking to your teen is to empower them to have an opinion instead of just assuming they will listen to what you have to say. If your child sees that you are invested in what they have to say, they will be more interested to join the conversation. Taking the steps to include your teen’s point of view is going to open a whole new world for productive conversations down the road, so start small now!

 

1.        Perfect Timing, Perfect Place: Timing is key to finding the right time and place to have a good conversation with your teen. After a long day at school, they might need some downtime before diving into discussions. Consider catching them after dinner when they're energized from eating and in a good mood.

2.        Listen Up: Listening to your teen to hear what they have to say is a top motivator for your child. Instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, actively listen to what they're saying. If you have advice, ask your teen if they want it. They will guide you on what feels helpful, and this keeps them engaged in the conversation.

3.        Setting the Example: Communicating is a learned skill and they are watching how it is done at home. They are watching how you navigate conflict, express yourself, and engage in conversations. Are you practicing what you preach?

 

By paving the path of understanding and trust, conversations with your teen can be a good experience for everyone!