Did you know that parenting insanity is when you say and do the same things over and over with your teens and expect a different result? Yeah, stop doing that because you are wasting your breath.

Sometimes, busy parents want to be told what to say and not have to think it up or manifest some deep thought. I got you! Keep reading for a one-stop shop on Say This and Not That!

 

1. Stop saying, "How was your day?" Instead, read the vibe. If they hop in the car chatty, take their lead. If they look like the Walking Dead, say, “Hi" and turn up the Spotify.

Do This: Give them time to decompress and hit them up later for a recap. Some good alternatives are: What was your day's best/worst part? What surprised you today? Which teacher made you laugh today?

 

2. Stop saying, "It's not that bad." The situation feels like the weight of the world to your teen, so telling them that their thoughts and feelings aren't valid will not get you very far.

Do This: Let them talk and use your empathy to acknowledge that you can see why they are upset. The key is to be able to sit with them when things are hard.

 

3. Stop saying, "Let me help you. I will..." This is hard to fight off, but the end goal is to raise independent adults, even in the hard moments. This is when they build the grit to build their confidence to do hard things.

Do This: Offering your support for your teen to find the right move is helpful for them to act. Good questions to ask are, "Would you like my support?" or "What do you want to do about that?"

 

What we say impacts our kids, and our goal is that they can think through things, face adversity, and contribute to society. This process will help them build confidence to face this world with their best selves, and we get to cheer them on every second of the way!